BIBLIOGRAPHIES-FIRESIDE CHATS

Raising Girls - A Bibliography

See Jane Win: The Rimm Report on How 1,000 Girls Became Successful Women, by Sylvia B. Rimm, with Sara Rimm-Kaufman and Ilonna Jane Rimm (contributors) (1999)
See Jane Win is a parents' guide for turning girls into happy, successful women. The authors spent three and a half years collecting data and conducting interviews to devise the 20 basic points detailed in this book. Their conclusions were based on a detailed questionnaire completed by more than 1,400 women with successful careers in a variety of fields, including science and technology, media, the arts, medicine, law, and education. (Homemaking and volunteer work receive some token attention, but there is a clear professional bias in their definition of success.) Their goal is to "identify the essential childhood elements that encouraged these women to achieve fulfilling careers" in order to alert other parents to them. Education emerges as the key common denominator. High academic expectations, good study habits, strong math and science skills, and a love of reading are all stressed. They also encourage parents to resist the urge to overprotect girls, and recommend fostering a healthy love of competition in order to build self-confidence. Indeed, self-esteem is a major underlying theme of the book.

How Jane Won: 55 Successful Women Share How They Grew from Ordinary Girls to Extraordinary Women, by Sylvia B. Rimm, with Sara Rimm-Kaufman (contributor) (2001)
In See Jane Win, Dr. Rimm notes the similarities shared among successful women. In this follow-up, she focuses instead on the differences - the variety of experiences that led successful women to their careers. How Jane Won tells the stories of women who have been successful both at work and at home. Ranging in age from 30 to 80 - some famous, some not - these women speak in their own voices about how their girlhoods sowed the seeds for their success, and how they coped with society's prejudices, triumphed despite discouragement, and found inspiration. You'll find dozens of hard-earned life lessons here to inspire your own path: be willing to fail; don't be afraid to be the smart girl; it's okay to fall from one career into another; if a mentor offers you a hand, take it; you don't have to know everything; transfer your talents from one field into the next; and don't worry if you're not certain about what you want to do with your life. The common thread through these stories is the wisdom of nurturing a passion, paying attention to what brings you happiness, persevering, and appreciating that the path between points A and B is seldom a straight line. Success is a sense of happiness and satisfaction in what you do.

Smart Girls: A New Psychology of Girls, Women and Giftedness (Revised Edition), by Barbara A. Kerr, Ph.D. (1997)
Why do talented, gifted girls so often fail to realize their potential as they reach adolescence and adulthood? This outstanding book explores this question and offers practical advice to parents, teachers, and policy-makers about ways to help gifted girls continue to grow and succeed. Dr. Kerr also presents current research on gifted girls; summarizes biographies about eminent women, their lives, and achievements; and examines the current educational and family environment. A very insightful and helpful book for both bright women and those involved with bright young girls.

Work Left Undone: Choices and Compromises of Talented Women, by Sally Morgan Reis (1998)
Women have come a long way over the past century. Why, then, after so much progress, do some talented women achieve prominence or eminence while others who had as much or more potential fail to achieve the dreams they had as young girls? Why do some bright girls begin to underachieve in school and why do some women who excelled in school remain in unchallenging jobs? Dr. Reis explores these questions and the internal and external barriers facing talented girls and women in today's society. She points out that many girls and women downplay accomplishments in order to maintain relationships and blend into the crowd. Perfectionism and the urge to be the best in all areas of life can drain energy and time away from special interests. Family and the desire to care for others often take precedence over developing talents. Likewise, a myriad of external barriers - stereotyping, lack of support from families, conflicting messages from parents, and others - cause some girls and women to give up their dreams and aspirations. Reis investigates the different patterns of how females develop and use their talents, various types of creative productivity in women, and the characteristics of successful girls and women including risk-taking, perseverance, and a sense of purpose. Written for gifted and talented girls and women, as well as their teachers and parents, this highly readable book presents a large body of research and a number of case studies offering insight into specific incidents of success or failure. Reis lists specific ideas for girls, parents and teachers, along with programs and resources that can help girls succeed.

Schoolgirls: Young Women, Self-Esteem and the Confidence Gap, by Peggy Orenstein (1995)
Inspired by a study by the American Association of University Women that showed girls' self-esteem plummeting as they reach adolescence, Orenstein spent months observing, interviewing, and getting know dozens of girls both inside and outside the classroom at two very different schools in northern California. The result was a groundbreaking book in which she brought the disturbing statistics to life with skill and flair. Orenstein plumbs the minds of both boys and girls who have learned to equate masculinity with opportunity and assertiveness, and femininity with reserve and restraint. She demonstrates the cost of this insidious lesson, by taking us into the lives of real young women who are struggling with eating disorders, sexual harassment, and declining academic achievement, especially in math and science.

Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls, by Mary Pipher (1995)
At adolescence, says Mary Pipher, "girls become 'female impersonators' who fit their whole selves into small, crowded spaces." Many lose spark, interest, and even IQ points as society forces a choice between being shunned for staying true to oneself and struggling to stay within a narrow definition of female. She posits that intelligent girls are more prone to depression because they are more aware of their surroundings and therefore more aware of the new constraints they face as they leave childhood. Pipher has a deft way of summing up psychological phenomena in layperson's terms, as when she dubs the changes that girls go through "a social and developmental Bermuda Triangle." Serious and thoughtful material presented with the fluidity of good fiction, this book is sure to appeal to parents, teachers and anyone interested in modern American culture.

The Wonder of Girls: Understanding the Hidden Nature of Our Daughters, by Michael Gurian (2001)
In The Wonder of Girls, Gurian, the father of two girls, provides crucial information for fully understanding the basic nature of girls: up-to-date scientific research on female biology, hormones, and brain development and how they shape girls' interests, behavior, and relationships. He also offers insight into a culture mired in competition between traditionalism and feminism and a new vision that provides for the equal status of girls and women yet acknowledges their nature as complex and distinct from men. He explains what is "normal" for girls each year from birth to age 20; what developmental needs girls face in each stage; how to communicate effectively with girls; and how to cope with developmental crises such as early sexuality, eating disorders, parental divorce, and more.

Gifted Grownups: The Mixed Blessings of Extraordinary Potential, by Marylou Kelly Streznewski (1999)
What is it like to be smarter than 95 percent of the people you meet? Fifty-four-year-old Alison says, "They told me I was smart and I cried. I wanted to be sexy, or glamorous!" Jean, 38, laments, "I learned the whole job in six weeks, and now I'm bored." The shelves are full of advice on nurturing gifted kids, but Streznewski is alone in addressing, for the general reader, what happens to those kids after high school. The author chose many interviewees according to informal criteria for giftedness that she developed as a teacher: curiosity and energy, speed, sensitivity, heightened perception, sophistication and humor, and some acceptance of the reality that one is "different." After defining giftedness, Streznewski examines old and new research on the nature of intelligence and other gifts and explores ways gifted people hide their talents. Other topics include special challenges within families, at school, as young adults, and in seeking challenging work; the plight of gifted dropouts and criminals; and how giftedness affects relationships, roles available to women, and the capacity of seniors to continue to contribute.

Raising Confident Girls: 100 Tips for Parents and Teachers, by Elizabeth Hartley-Brewer (2001)
In Raising Confident Girls, British parenting educator Elizabeth Hartley-Brewer argues that, although women do have a freedom that was unheard of 50 years ago, girls now face a sometimes unbearable combination of pressures. Her positive focus - "Model respect for women," "Examine your expectations" and "Respect her feelings" - emphasizes the ways that parents and teachers specifically can boost girls' self-esteem. Girls need ample, loving demonstrations from adults close to them that they are appreciated and can be trusted to know what they need for themselves. They also need to be given plenty of opportunity to develop their talents. This book provides parents and teachers with hands-on, practical advice available for nurturing girls in a changing and challenging social environment.

Great Books for Girls: More Than 600 Books to Inspire Today's Girls and Tomorrow's Women, by Kathleen Odean (1997)
A helpful guide for parents and teachers, Great Books for Girls lists a variety of books for girls, from toddlers to adolescents, featuring female protagonists who solve problems and shape their own destiny. The book includes resources and activities that focus on reading, and offers tips to adults who want to keep their young reluctant readers on the road to making reading a lifelong habit.

Growing a Girl: Seven Strategies for Raising a Strong, Spirited Daughter, by Barbara Mackoff (1996)
In the post-women's movement period of the 1990s, many parents, even those committed to gender equity, are "amazed" at the seemingly inborn differences between the genders. And most parents committed to raising their children free from gender bias give up when the kids are in preschool. Barbara Mackoff takes to task these post-feminist ideas. Instead of focusing on gender, parents should see children in terms of their individuality, and teach their daughters to be aware of society's gender biases. She suggests that parents create equal opportunities for their daughters in a loving, supportive way. Mackoff gives readers specific, valuable tools for raising spirited, strong daughters and helps parents teach their daughters to enjoy being girls without limiting the opportunities that lie beyond society's gender bias.

Fireside - March 2002

Raising Boys - A Bibliography

Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys, by Dan Kindlon and Michael Thompson (2000)
Raising Cain looks at the emotional miseducation of boys because of society's narrow definition of masculinity. It looks at why boys are not encouraged to develop qualities such as compassion, sensitivity, and warmth. The authors' premise is that boys will be better off if they are understood and if they are encouraged to become more emotionally literate.

The Good Son: Shaping the Moral Development of Our Boys and Young Men, by Michael Gurian (1999)
The Good Son is a cradle-to-college plan of how to raise ethical sons. Gurian looks at each chapter of life, from the age of obedience to pre-adulthood, and addresses the intellectual, emotional and moral development occurring in that stage, and considers the issues that are most likely to arise. This book also deals with how to cope in moral emergencies such as theft or violence.

A Fine Young Man: What Parents, Mentors, and Educators Can Do To Shape Boys Into Exceptional Men, by Michael Gurian (1999)
It is evident that boys outnumber girls by far in areas such as juvenile crime, drug use, and even learning problems and mental disorders. A Fine Young Man asserts that this is because we have neglected the emotional needs of boys. Although boys may appear to be self-sufficient, they actually need their parents and positive role models in their lives desperately. Gurian breaks down the stages of a boy's life and addresses how we can help them in their journey to adulthood.

Speaking of Boys: Answers to the Most-Asked Questions About Raising Sons, by Michael Thompson (2000)
Speaking of Boys tries to answer parents' questions concerning the complexities of raising a boy in today's society. It deals with issues such as peer pressure, ADHD/ADD, puberty, underage drinking and violence in schools. Thompson states the key to raising a healthy son is to help him attain an emotional intelligence that will allow him to cope with difficult and threatening situations. In order to make this happen, parents need to nurture compassion in their sons and try to avoid allowing him to become desensitized by the teasing and pressure of others.

Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood, by William Pollack (2000)
Real Boys argues that boys in America are in crisis. Adhering to what he calls the "Boy Code," they are learning that expressing certain emotions or showing weakness is inappropriate, and they're apt to wear a mask of toughness that suppresses their true feelings. This text includes many real examples of boys candidly speaking about their own situations. Pollack gives sensible advice for helping our sons remove the mask.

Real Boys' Voices: Listening to Boys Speak Out, by William Pollack (2000)
Real Boys' Voices looks at the boys themselves, with interviews from boys ages 10 to 20, and Pollack's assessment and advice. Pollack notes the need to get behind the "mask of masculinity" and give boys the time and space to express emotions, to listen to them when they do, and to encourage their openness. Pollack found that many of his subjects longed to communicate their feelings but felt restrained by a culture that discouraged emotional displays by boys, thereby adding to the pressure on boys today. Despite what society might tell us, boys want to talk.

Smart Boys: Talent, Manhood, and the Search for Meaning, by Barbara Kerr and Sanford Cohn (2001)
Smart Boys looks at the questions of why so many of our brightest boys underachieve in school and are failing to reach their full potential in the work world. Why do so many of them have problems with depression and anger. With current research, examinations of other books, and personal interviews with men, Kerr and Cohn give advice to help smart boys stay smart while providing thought-provoking insights for gifted men.

200 Ways to Raise A Boy's Emotional Intelligence: An Indispensable Guide for Parents, Teachers, and Other Concerned Caregivers, by Will Glennon, Jeanne Elium, and Don Elium (2000)
This practical, down-to-earth guide gives tools for raising emotionally healthy boys in a culture that preaches stoicism for men. Some of the suggestions revolve around attitudes adults should cultivate in dealing with boys. The book also describes practical things adults can do to enhance boys' mental and emotional health. Each chapter includes an activity for home as well as school.

Bringing Up Boys: Practical Advice and Encouragement for Those Shaping the Next Generation of Men, by James Dobson (2001)
With so much confusion about the role of men in our society, many of us are at a loss about how to bring up boys. Parents, teachers, counselors, youth leaders, and others involved in shaping the character of boys have many questions. In Bringing Up Boys, Dobson tackles these questions and offers advice and encouragement based on a firm foundation of biblical principles.

Boys and Girls Learn Differently: A Guide for Teachers and Parents, by Michael Gurian, Patricia Henley and Terry Truemen (2001)
Boys and Girls Learn Differently states that the brain differences between the sexes lead to different learning styles. This book explores the reasons for those differences in processing information and learning. Gurian examines research on the brain that indicates physical differences, such as male brains being larger and female brains maturing earlier. He also offers practical, grade-level-appropriate advice for developing learning environments that accommodate boys' and girls' differing learning styles.

Great Books for Boys: More Than 600 Books for Boys 2-14, by Kathleen Odean (1998)
Odean has compiled a unique collection of books-picture books, novels, biographies, poetry, adventure, science, sports stories and more-that will fascinate and educate boys. Here are classic characters Frog and Toad, Bilbo Baggins, and Encyclopedia Brown; new favorites Bingo Brown, Martin the Warrior, and Harry the Dirty Dog; and real-life inspirations that include the Wright brothers, Jackie Robinson, Matthew Brady and Jacques Cousteau. Humorous titles such as Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and Jill Pinkwater's Buffalo Brenda round out Odean's recommendations from ghost stories to men and women of history. Her annotations are a clearly written combination of content and commentary. She also offers an expanded magazine list, which appears in a section targeted to parents.

Fireside - October 2001

Holiday Values and Our Children - A Bibliography

I'm in Charge of Celebrations, by Byrd Baylor and Peter Parnall, illustrator
Caldecott winners Baylor and Parnall create a joyous celebration of the human spirit in this radiant prose-poem about a girl who tells of treasured experiences such as dancing in the wind on Dust Devil Day and sleeping outside during the Time of the Falling Stars.

Unstoppable: 45 Powerful Stories of Perseverance and Triumph from People Just Like You, by Cynthia Kersey
Unstoppable is full of real stories about people who beat the odds, overcame their fears and dared their dreams. Cynthia Kersey has done an excellent job of bringing real-life success stories to the everyday person. This inspirational book can jumpstart the life of any person who has lost the spirit to succeed. What makes the book special are the 45 stories that testify to the courage and conviction of the human spirit.

Teaching Your Children Values, by Linda and Richard Eyre
Helping your children develop personal values such as honesty, self-reliance and dependability is as important a part of their education as teaching them to read or how to cross the street safely. The values you teach your children are their best protection from the influences of peer pressure and the temptations of consumer culture. The authors present a practical, proven, month-by-month program of games, family activities and value-building exercises for kids of all ages.

Parents are Teachers, Too: Enriching Your Child's First Six Years, by Claudia Jones Parents are Teachers, Too is a well-planned book that gives parents direction for teaching and points out many creative ways to help preschoolers learn. There are games for reading, writing and math concepts, and the development of creativity, questioning and self-sufficiency. Jones, educator, columnist and journalist, begins with a brief overview on early childhood education. She stresses positive common-sense parenting with emphasis on fostering the love of learning with a light touch.

Living the 7 Habits: The Courage to Change, by Stephen R. Covey
Living the 7 Habits captures the essence of people's real-life experiences, applying proven principles to help them solve their problems and overcome challenges. In this collection, readers will find examples of hope and encouragement in the words of real people and their experiences of change -- change that got them through difficult times, solved family crises, mended broken relationships, or turned their businesses around. Although Covey's advice, designed for both personal and organizational applications, appears to be common sense, it is sense that is seldom followed.

Fireside - November 2001

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