Secrets at Whitworth are Less Than Confidential
By Drew Dotson

Personal Essay

What about Whitworth is hush-hush? Do students actually keep secrets, or when they wake are they itching for tittle-tattle tell all tea time? I will go out on limb and say the latter.

Nothing seems to ever be hush-hush on the Whitworth campus. Nearly every bit of private information I have uttered to another Whitworthian has come back to me with a name, a date or the ending all wrong. Despite the faulty details, I was just pissed my secret was passed on.

Secret or no secret, from freshman year on, you not only learn but devour the details of your fellow classmates.

I share this observation not to complain but out of concern. You see, I have a secret: I'm pregnant and I don't want you to know.

My secret is not of public concern; it is a simple but sweet detail of my current standing. Yet, I am almost sure if I was to share this detail with even a few close friends, it would not be so sweet. I would be left with the looks, murmurs and haughty congrats I'm not really looking forward to.

This isn't the first time I've interrupted the smooth flow of Whitworth life. I announced my engagement this past summer along with the announcement of the wedding date only four months later. To tell you the truth, I don't know if anyone really cared (other than those close to me) but not only did word travel quickly, but students made a point to share their thoughts and feelings.

On the first day of fall term I remember announcing the engagement in a class. Some of the students (women) were thrilled, but others responded with a doubting "are you serious?" It was easy tell, even with so few words, that the students were less than elated about the news.

I may have been crazy to get married in the middle of the semester, but I wouldn't have had it any other way. It was beautiful.

So now you know. Isn't it wonderful? Or are you pretending not to care, meanwhile calling a fellow graduate who may know me to spill the news? If I were a few days younger, I may stay and try to convince you of the beauty of the life growing in my tummy, and the wondrous journey I about to embark upon, all with the hope of acceptance. Yet I fear you may see the beauty of a new life and still mock my age, my husband, my home or whatever else.

So I'm not going to do it. I can't convince you, I can't change you, so I guess I'll pray for you. My body is changing, my moods are swingin', my tummy is howlin' and I'm having a baby!

The secret is out. Do with it what you will.